A couple of months ago I wrote a post about ‘having it all’ see here triggered by my reaction to Kirstie Allsopp’s comments about girls and education.
Instead of ‘can I have it all?’ I’m now asking myself – do I want it all?
How can any of us achieve so many conflicting things all in the same time frame? It doesn’t take a genius to work out that if your desires are split in so many different directions no matter how focused you are, something will have to give? I’ve never heard the chant:
What do we want?
A successful career, time to myself, a fulfilling and satisfying love life, interesting hobbies, a close knit friendship group, potentially children who I spend quality time with and a healthy lifestyle?
When do we want it?
Erm, all in the next 5 – 10 years please?
Reading an article a friend posted on Facebook about women who, for various reasons, had not had children highlighted how obsessed we are as a society about speculating about the contents of women’s wombs. I hear on a daily basis gossip and discussions on when so and so is going to have a baby, and how it will be until what’s-her-name turns up preggers. This is NEVER questioned of male colleagues.
I have been guilty of this particularly amongst my friendship group – but I have asked men and women. Does this make me as bad as the other baby speculators, or even worse? After all, the same issues could apply to them having children – medical, or even that they don’t want children.
As for me – yes, I want children. But I don’t know how it can be done with everything else I want too. It’s been drummed into me that I want a successful, driven career as well – but I can’t see how it will work without something giving.
So where do we ‘give’? What’s the solution? Or do I need to push push push, and try to ‘have it all’ at whatever cost?