The above letters will mean something to approximately 50% of you; havoc.

We sufferers of TOTM will recognise the following symptoms:

1. About a week beforehand We become very snappy, and chew people’s head off at the drop of a hat. So far I have managed not to let this happen to Pedro, but it’s only a matter of time…

2. A couple of days before our boobs start hurting like nothing on earth – I can’t describe how this feels, but they ache SO much. Absolute nightmare.

3. For the first couple of days, we are a hormonal mess. I cry about ANYTHING. I cry about sad things, I cry when Pedro teases me about something, I cry when something nice happens. I’ve been known to weep uncontrollably with joy at just the thought of having a full English breakfast.

4. We are in pain for about 3 days. Again I can’t really describe this pain to those of you who don’t have a womb – but believe me, it’s agony. Then for another day or so I’m just merely uncomfortable. Sometimes this makes me feel sick, or feel faint.

5. Generally we become incredibly clumsy and feel blurgh and lumbering. This is not fun when coupled with being overly emotional – as breaking a plate in this state literally ends in tears.

Have you guessed what TOTM means? I’ll bet that you ladies out there recognise these symptoms all too clearly. I’ll bet that a lot of you gents recognise them too…from being on the receiving end of them!

The point of this post? I don’t know, it’s not like I can call together a petition to stop anyone from being affected by TOTM, but I suppose it’s to alert the 50% of the planet to the horrors that women face every few weeks…

My advice? Have chocolate, painkillers, hot water bottles, and weepy films at the ready!


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