Are you hungry?

Yesterday I spent a lot of time in the car driving around – it was a warm day, the kind where you can’t get cool, and you feel sticky and flustered and tired from the heat. I had the windows wound down to get a breeze through my car, which has an unwelcome tendency to smell like cumin when it’s warm…

There are a lot of roadworks near me, and as I was returning home alone in my car I was held up. Two men in a car were trying to cut in front of me at some temporary traffic lights, and it was my right of way. They were really pushing to get in, so I held my ground and kept moving forward with the cars in front of me. We drew up almost alongside each other as the lights went to red. ‘Are you hungry?’ the driver asked. ‘Is that why you’re in such a rush? Because you’re hungry?’

I was absolutely shocked. I am what many would say is ‘curvy’, or a ‘larger girl’. I am fat. Yes, I don’t eat as healthily as I should. No, I don’t exercise as much as I should. But am
I wrong in thinking that my health and my appearance are no-one’s business but mine and the people who love me?

Perhaps the driver wasn’t talking about my appearance, perhaps I was over-sensitive. Well you could be right – however he then went on to ask me how many babies I was having. Charming. When I told him in no uncertain terms where to go, he started to lecture me on my language, and my driving. The lights took an excrutiatingly long time to change to green. I sat there, tears forming under my sunglasses, in silent mortification and fury, until I could drive off and away.

Did I over-react? This is a sensitive issue for me. Yes – I know I can do something about it, and believe me,
I intend to. But I just don’t understand why it is acceptable for anyone to comment so casually, and so cruelly, on someone elses’ appearance.

It got me to thinking – we all judge, and gossip about others’ appearance. I include myself in this, although I try not to. Is there any difference between doing it when the person isn’t there, and doing it to intentionally hurt?

Either way, yesterday hurt. I often pretend it doesn’t hurt when people make comments – and they are never as blatant or as cruel as the ones that driver made – but the truth is, it stings every time.

I was so ashamed of what happened that I told Pedro about it via text because I didn’t want a conversation about it – too sore a subject. I also then went to a friend’s BBQ and even with my closest friends there, said nothing. Don’t get me wrong – it’s not something that makes me upset all the time, sometimes I never even think of it at all. However…

Perhaps time to take a leaf out of my friend Emma’s book, who is doing the 7lb in 7 days juice diet, (see her blog here) here and become
more healthy.

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9 thoughts on “Are you hungry?

  1. Everything but the cabbage stick says:

    They just said that because they were male t*ss pots and you were a female who had the audacity not to give into them. What ever your appearance they would have said something because you stood up to them and they are clearly the type of men who don’t like strong women. Don’t take it to heart, you are beautiful!! 🙂 Ps let me have their registration plate and I “will find them” a la Liam Neeson from Taken 🙂

  2. Martha says:

    I’m with Emma ^^ You are beautiful and strong and they were just d***heads. I know those sort of comments can hurt and then stick with you for a long time. Just remember you can choose to look however you want to and it’s no one’s place but your own to decide what is right for you. xx

    • No you’re absolutely right, and I think Emma’s right too. They would have said something no matter who I was or what I looked like. I think it was more the shock they said anything at all than their words x

  3. Beautiful Lucy, I’m there with you girl. In the last few months I’ve gained a dress size and it really bothers me. I’m trying hard to do something about it now but not for what other people say more because it upsets me.

    But other people are just soooo rude. In America this car was leering out of his car at all the girls and then stopped in front of me and was like “not you”!!!

    Butttt… they’re bastards. For every guy who makes a comment I bet you get more who wolf whistle (not that that’s any better). You are beautiful. and they’re just pissed because you wouldn’t bow down to their bullying and let them in front of you. They’d have made comments to anyone.

    If you want we can stay accountable together on the healthy eating track! But remember who you’re losing the weight for/getting healthy for.

    Now make yourself a cuppa, put Beyonce on and go get them Girl! xxx

    • Good advice thanks Laura! Sadly there will always be people who enjoy making you feel bad 😦 I love the idea of being accountable together – I’m starting healthy eating on Monday! X

      • I’ve been healthy eating for a while but I’m quite impatient! Had a black moment on Saturday when my size 10 skirt didn’t fit only to try on a size 8 dress that does! No sense! I’m doing a three day juice fast the weekend after next! So we’ll see. Mine is ensuring I have a healthy evening meal and I’m exercising more. Well done so far xx

  4. Jane says:

    Not even worth a further thought my lovely, people like that are absolutely beneath contempt and not worth a jot. Hold your head high, love yourself for who you are and be damned what anyone else thinks (or says). Put it in a mental box marked ‘junk’ and get on with the rest of your wonderful valuable life! xx

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