When Pedro and I went for our celebratory Chinese the other night, I realised I have a gift. It isn’t a gift that could help save lives, but I honestly believe it could enrich yours. I have a gift for relating foodstuffs to people.
This isn’t news, I’m sure. My post Cheesebook revealed this gift to the world (and made me want to eat cheese). However when explaining to Pedro that he is like shredded duck soup (warm and hearty, with depth of flavour, and not common like chicken would be – rare and unusual, hence the duck), it came to me. Sure, I won’t save lives with my ability. But maybe, just maybe it will get more people to think of people’s personalities and compare them to food – a wondrous conversation topic (you’re welcome). It could also help you find the one you love in a speed dating situation (it happens). Just so you know, Pedro said I was like sizzling beef. It transpired this was not because I’m hot – but because I’m loud.
So below you will find the biscuit tin – if you were a biscuit, what biscuit would you be?
A classic. Both sweet and down to earth, this person is steadfast and loyal. Always someone you can come back to, time and time again. Perhaps there are more lively, outgoing people, but a digestive is a good friend.
You know the kind of person – so lovely to be around, always saying nice things to you, and great when you see them. However, they can be flaky, and agree to show up on a night out but back at the last minute.
The Chocolate Hobnob
A tough cookie (see what I did there?!) Strong and resilient (dunk me! dunk me again!), wholesome and sweet. A best friend (in biscuit form). Exciting and stable – the best of both worlds.
The Custard Cream
A practical but kind friend. Not the most stylish, but sweet, good natured, and a solid presence.
The Jammy Dodger
Cheeky, chatty and loud. Unashamedly dirty minded and always ready with a rude innuendo and chuckle. A cheeky chappy/chappette – who probably thinks they’re funnier then they are…(I’m clearly a jammy dodger)
The Pink Wafer
Lots of fun, outrageous in their style, and brilliant for a fun night out. But unfortunately with no substance to back it up. A fair-weather friend.
Serious and sophisticated. Quite a lot of us wish we were more like the bourbon – effortlessly stylish and grown up. I’m far too silly to be friends with a bourbon – but I admire them from afar.
Go on – what biscuit are you?!