I am addicted to my phone. I check it a million times a day (to the nearest million).

The main use of my phone is to check twitter and for comments on my blog (3 weeks in and I’m hooked!). I text people as though it’s a conversation. My thoughts come so fast I sometimes have to send 3 or 4 texts at a time – Ps, Pps, Ppps etc. I love to have a long conversation by text, replying so fast that it surprises the other person.

I press the ‘home’ key on my phone probably once a minute – just in case a message has come through without me realising (impossible even on silent – my phone does that ‘buzz buzz’ vibrate when a text comes through which is so loud it may as well be on ringer).

This is why I cannot understand it when people don’t reply to texts. Sometimes people leave it DAYS to reply. UNTHINKABLE.

So, as a self-appointed ‘phone expert’ (based solely on amount of use) I have created a guide to text etiquette, or ‘Textiquette’.

1.  Always reply to a text WITHIN THE HOUR. Yes, sometimes you may be unable to – when at work, or in a rehearsal. But seriously, are you telling me that you can’t find two minutes to check your phone and reply?!

2. NEVER use text speak. Urgh. It is not the early days of mobile technology everyone. Gone are the days where we paid by the text and had to shorten words to make sure we wouldn’t go over one message. We all have contracts now – we can send AS MANY MESSAGES AS WE WANT! So use full words – good English doesn’t cost anything.

3. This echos rule 1 – so many people will tell you ‘Never double text’. This is wrong. Text as much as you like. I have triple-texted before (this will come as no surprise I’m sure!) But when you find yourself having to send multiple texts ask yourself this – is the other person worth their rude textiquette?

4. Make sure you use texts to ask about other people – don’t just bang on about your own day. (This is just good manners.)

5. Always make a text a question. Don’t put people in the awkward position of wanting to text back but not having a good reason to. Not fair.

6. Always put kisses on the end. This stops people reading too much into it when you do. But make sure you don’t put kisses on the end of a work text.

The above may sound like a rant at Pedro – on the contrary. Pedro has good textiquette. He replies to messages – sometimes not within the hour, but always with a question about my day, and always with excellent English. He passes my textiquette text. Housemate however does not have good textiquette. Sometimes she takes DAYS to reply. Sometimes (and whisper this) she never replies at all. Bad, bad textiquette.

‘So what?’ you may say. ‘Why does it matter so much whether or not you have good textiquette?’ SO glad you asked!

Is it because in this modern age of social media we do most of our communicating and keeping up with friends and family through the medium of texts instead of calls? Partly. Is it because on many iPhones (other smart phones are available) you can see when the person read their message so they know when you got it and will be expecting a reply? Partly. (I got someone to disable this function on my phone so I would get away with not replying to messages I wanted some time to think about – I know, I know, this goes against all my rules of textiquette – what can I say, I’m a woman of contradictions.) NO. It’s because establishing a habit of good textiquette saves a lot of social awkwardness.

When Housemate and I were taking part in the summer of love (BP – Before Pedro) we would spend hours analysing texts from men, and waiting for hours to reply so as not to look too ‘keen’. This led to all sorts of predicaments – like almost missing dates because we hadn’t wanted to text back to confirm arrangements, and thinking that a guy didn’t like us because he didn’t put any kisses on his texts. NIGHTMARE.

So for the love of maintaining a good social life, and for demonstrating to the people in your life that they are important to you – MAINTAIN GOOD TEXTIQUETTE!

What’re your thoughts on my textiquette rules?


2 thoughts on “Textiquette

  1. Everything but the cabbage stick says:

    Within an hour?! We are supposed to reply to a text within an hour!! Does this apply to emails as well? I am rubbish with emails! Tom has very bad text etiquette he never replies to his mum and sometimes me!! He also signs his text off to his mum with just an initial, no kisses! Rude! Haha.

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