Since starting this blog I’ve come to realise that there is a great difference between how I think I live and how I actually live. I imagine that when I move in with Pedro it will be a beautiful haven of cleanliness and immaculate interior decoration. A ‘Better Home’ sort of home (or ‘Better Homes than yours’ as it should be known.) I imagine that I will float around in beautiful clothes doing nothing more strenuous than a bit of light dusting. I imagine that, Nigel Slater style, we will have a pantry full of delicious artisan food ready to throw together to create delicious feasts. I imagine that our home will be light, airy and fragrant – basically the life of amazing blogger www.ciderwithrosie.com.
Cut now to my flat (shared with Housemate). To the casual observer, a tidy, clean, perfectly lovely flat occupied by two adult working women. Underneath this shallow level of perception, the reality is quite different. We live like students:
- Some days we don’t get out of pyjamas – all day. We lounge around watching rubbish films and pretending to work on our laptops. Pyjamas are just so comfy! Why are they not acceptable daywear?! Housemate has a rather fetching animal print one-sie which I am not at all really sickeningly jealous of…We are lazy slobs.
- We rely on microwave meals and takeaways as our sole source of food – do we know what we should be eating? Yes of course. Are we foodies? YES. We love proper food, and love going out for meals at nice restaurants. We can successfully identify bisques, water baths, a well set creme brulee. I can even cook some dishes well. But we are lazy slobs.
- We have a pile of bottles to go to the bottle bank – I often feel this is like a stand-off as to who will take them. I always cave first. The shame of taking an enormous pile of glass (all clearly alcohol related) to the bottle bank in the daytime is absolute. I find myself starting conversations with the complete strangers at the bottle banks just so I can turn the conversation round to the ‘big party we had last night’. When the truth is, we are lazy slobs.
- The other night Housemate came in at 4am with her friends incredibly drunk and rowdy. It was like being at uni again, where you can be woken at any time by a drunk person. I quite enjoyed the experience of reliving those years – this hasn’t happened at all since then. Housemate is usually in bed before me (we both are early sleepers because of getting up early for school). She stays in most evenings working and marking. I would never begrudge her this one night (besides, she bought me booze to say sorry). We are crazy slobs.
- We would rather go for days with dry shampoo than go to the effort of washing our hair. I won’t say how many days Housemate has gone for fear of embarrassing her – and besides, my total isn’t much better. We both have long thick hair. It takes a long time to wash, even longer to dry and style. We get little enough sleep as it is…Oh what’s the use in me trying to make excuses for us – we are lazy slobs.
- Poorly working TV – Our TV has to be re-tuned every time you turn it on. This has been the case for the best part of a year. In our defence, it’s not just our lack of technical knowledge or expertise that means we can’t fix it. No-one else has managed to either. This means that when we get in just in time to catch Masterchef, we have to wait 5 minutes while our TV finds the channels. Not good.
- We have no food in the fridge – except for a jar of gherkins, some rotting salad, and some jars of old mayonnaise. There is rarely anything to concoct a proper meal with. When guests stay and ask for breakfast we have to admit we have nothing suitable in. Often we don’t even have in date milk. Come to think of it, this is probably why we have to rely on ready meals or takeaways. We are lazy slobs.
- We have a random stash of remnants of alcohol. This includes four different bottles of differing levels and flavours of vodka, a small bottle of JD, a bottle of gin in the shape of a naked man’s torso, some bottles with a tiny bit of wine (now vinegar) left in. We never throw them away – because you would have to be mad to throw away alcohol! Surely one day we will use it?!
- We have an extensive collection of £3 DVDs from HMV (including 3 copies of Dreamgirls). This is what I spend my entire student loan on. Once I spent several hours boxing up DVDs I no longer wanted to send to a well known website-based selling site. They said it was only worth £25, so I never bothered sending it. It’s still in a bag in our spare room. We are lazy slobs.
- We watch a lot of shit TV. OK, not Hollyoaks level shit (that was during our university days), but we love programmes like Made In Chelsea (surely allowed because it features posher people than The Only Way is Essex?). We spend hours every evening and all day at the weekends watching endless TV. We base our evenings around what programmes we want to watch, and sit in front of it pretending to do work (Housemate does actually work – I check facebook, twitter, and my blog stats on an endless cycle). Slobs.
We are educated, independent, working women in our (ahem!) late twenties – surely this isn’t how we should be living?!
Pedro ALWAYS has food in. You could make any number of meals (including breakfast!) from the food in his cupboards and fridge. He does a proper food shop once a week for an actual variety of meals. He cooks for himself nearly every night. He gets dressed at a suitable time. He washes his hair every day. He has a perfectly working TV. He has a tasteful sized DVD collection. He rarely watches TV. He buys a couple of bottles of wine a week and finishes them in sensible moderation, then disposes straight away of the empty bottles. He is a proper grown up.
I am hoping that when we move in together, some of his grown up habits will rub off on me. In the meantime, Housemate and I have some leftover pizza to finish for breakfast…
Surely more of you have some student-like living habits – what’s your guilty student living habit?